A Biblical Cosmological “Clock”

Illuminated_Hindsight being 20/20, we have the CEO of a multinational corporation making the BuyBull all science-like with another claim of nailing the underlying numerical code, and the Toronto Star yet again publishes credulous palaver as Insight.

The feel good Father’s Day story begins with:

You would think of engineering physicist Daniel Friedmann, 56, as the kind of guy who scoffs at biblical notions of creation. But the CEO of Canada’s leading aerospace company, MacDonald, Dettwiler and Associates, doesn’t at all reject the “God made” and “God created” versions of how the universe came to be.

There’s nothing that precludes someone being in one of the fields of science and a devout godbotherer. This isn’t uncommon and given the greater percentage of the population who grovel to YahwehGodAllah, not to be unexpected. Notice all the front-loaded authority: physics, engineering, letters and a CEO!

The Perimeter of Ignorance is vast in this one as he describes his interpretation as “unique” “science” and “religion” while trying “very hard… not to push my point of view”.

Then, why all the books? Well, I imagine they sell well. As Friedmann says, “The vast majority of the population is in their minds in some way reconciling evolution and creation.” According to the polls, says the author. According to Gallup it would seem the vast majority of Americans, at least, have indeed reconciled this apparent conundrum:

GallupPollEvolution

As the graphic shows, unsurprisingly, Goddidit and it has been fairly consistent for some time.

By a factor a wee better than 5-1. Which the man of letters explains as “the general population is actually quite in the middle on this issue”.

What is this new insight into the numerical reconciliation of rationality and reason with the cobbling of Bronze Age myths into an Iron Age apocalyptic death cult primer? An insight BTW, with concepts that will “make the Old Testament make sense, even for those of littlest faith” and are not made “up from science, or from what I know today” and pushed “back on the Bible.”

The age of our universe divided by the six days of creation reveals the scale of 2.56 billion years per day and it all fits the sciencey timeline. An important man of letter says so.

Yes, it is a metaphorical Ussher with modern mathematics. And yet, as of March 22, 2013, the best guess is 13.78 billion years +/- 37 million years.

The timeline of our universe the man suggests, which he says is quite accurate but does not represent his point of view, is 2.56B years X 6 days for an age of 15.36 billion years – without scaling in the seventh day

We’d better inform those using the Planck Telescope and the Hubble Constant their calculations have been shown to be in error by this future Nobel winner.

Here is an oft made claim by religionauts:

“Yes, with three exceptions. Only three and those three things correspond with, match with, the three unanswered questions within science today.

The most famous one is the beginning. If you look at the Big Bang theory, it explains absolutely everything from the beginning until today very nicely but it has no idea how the beginning came about.

That’s right, The Big Bang doesn’t explain that, neither does doG anymore, so maybe the answer is, I don’t know.

The next most famous one is what the Bible calls the human soul. The Bible says the bodies of humans were made just like the bodies of animals. In some cases science recognizes the soul, in some cases it says there is no soul, we’re just super-intelligent. The key thing is, what does a soul bring to a human that it doesn’t bring to anyone else? The ability to speak and the ability to envision the future.

We’re the only species according to science that can do that. That leads to painting and art and things that in an evolutionary context are completely useless. The Bible tells us that these behaviours come from the soul, the divine soul, from the outside. Science agrees that these behaviours are completely unique to humans but they don’t have an explanation for where they come from.

Speech and planning ahead are the result of vocal chords and imagination, aren’t they? Aren’t all these things partly responsible for “painting and art and things”, like music? Ask any musician why they got into music and a large number will say “chicks”. Evolutionary useless? I don’t think Picasso, Dali or even wee Toulouse had problems getting laid.

The third thing is the appearance of sea creatures during what science calls the Cambrian explosion. What happened then came out outside of the scientific natural process. God interfered and did something miraculous.

According to the Rom:

Why did the Cambrian explosion happen when it did, and why was it such a unique event?

mermaid

While there is no current consensus among scientists, most researchers agree the explosion cannot be ascribed to a single, simple causal mechanism.

The potential triggers can be classified in three main categories: environmental, genetic, and ecological. Deciphering the impact of each of these factors remains one of the most important challenges faced by palaeontologists today.

So, scientists have some leads, but nothing solid yet. Apparently, Mr. Friedmann has no patience for he knows with divine certainty what the answer is.

Those are the only three times that something was happening that was not just cause and effect within the normal laws of nature.

Are you a religious man yourself?

Yes, getting more and more. I have become more observant in recent years. We’ve gone kosher. That’s the key one. The other key one is the Sabbath of course. I do try to keep it. So yes. Because of all my research.”

Can I be his Shabbos goy? Does he use electricity on the Sabbath for it is forbidden fire!

How original, an avowed faithiest comes to a conclusion involving Gawd, rather than humbly admitting the answer eludes us.

I wonder if this guy was involved in the failed mission to Mars where sloppy math lead to the probe frying in the atmosphere. After all, 5 to 1 is half and 2.56 X 6 is 14 or so.

Here, thanks to Wil Wheaton, is Daniel Friedmann’s unique cosmoillogical model of our universe:

XstianCosmology8

XstianCosmology7

XstianCosmology6

XstianCosmology5

XstianCosmology4

XstianCosmology3b

XstianCosmology3

XstianCosmology2

XstianCosmology1

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Top ten Religious discoveries

Higgs Boson confirmed, July 2012

rom Why Evolution Is True, a fine post by Mr. Coyne on the tussle for truth between religion and science. He provides several quotes from Sophisticated Theologians (coined by Coyne) which show them to be clearly making claims about reality.

“In this I am convinced that true Christianity is precisely the same as true science. Both are required to be totally open to whatever is authentically given in each situation. This is no mere coincidence. For it is Jesus Christ who definitively makes it clear that the universe is truly open to truly scientific investigation.” — David Jenkins

“On balance, theism is vastly more hospitable to science than naturalism, a much better home to it. Indeed, it is theism, not naturalism, that deserves to be called ‘the scientific worldview.’” — Alvin Plantinga

There are many others, although none as cringe inducing as that last one, IMHO. To show the hollowness of these claims, Jerry provides us with the top 10 scientific discoveries and accomplishments of 2012 from Wired Science. Along with the Higgs Boson and others, there are Curiosity roving on Mars, drilling through two miles of Antarctic ice to Lake Vostok (new life?) and finding an Earth-like planet orbiting Alpha Centauri B.

His simple graphic, below, shows the same for religion.

religious-discoveries

I propose a different list, although not necessarily from 2012 alone or in any particular order.

Mother Mary, Christianity's first rape victim

Mother Mary, Christianity’s first rape victim

Big Mama Theresa's head in a bun

I always thought Big Mama Theresa was a bun-head for making those suffering, suffer even more in her clinics.

Pope John Paul, The Sequel in a fire, just like the ol' timey heretics or witch-children in Africa today

Pope John Paul, The Sequel, ablaze, just like the ol’ timey heretics or witch-children in Africa today

Mary again, in a Larch

Mary again, in a Larch

Here's Mary, hiding on the plastron of a wee turtle

Here’s Mary, hiding on the plastron of a wee turtle

doG must love the Irish, the way he rots them taters so pretty

doG must love the Irish, the way he rots them taters so pretty

A stoned Virgin Mary

A stoned Virgin Mary

Toasted Madonna, or the weerjin Mary. You decide.

Toasted Madonna, or the weerjin Mary. You decide. No, Marlene Dietrich

Buddy Jebus, crucified on the roof of a catfish skull.

Buddy Jebus, crucified on the inner roof of a catfish skull.

This is a common Kudzu crucifixion, Christian symbol of torture

This is a common Kudzu crucifixion, Christian symbol of torture

Jebus in a nacho pan or some left over goo that vaguely resembles Jeffery Hunter.

Jebus in a nacho pan or some left over goo that vaguely resembles Jeffery Hunter.

If you've read the BuyBull, like I have, you would find this quite accurate.

If you’ve read the BuyBull, like I have, you would find this quite accurate.

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WWJSWB?

May His Noodly Appendage caress Don for this image. rAmen.

May His Noodly Appendage caress Don for this image. rAmen.

Celtic_What would Jesus’ safe word be?

Resurrection?

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Frankie goes to The Vatican

FrankieGoes2Vatican2

M_ItGothiceet the new Pope, same as the old nipple headed bastard. A man who claims to have the ear of, and to speak for, the creator of the universe and yet, so humble in his infallibility. He takes the bus, doncha know? Not anymore. It’s corporate jets, palaces and armoured ice cream trucks until he croaks or, can no longer be an enabler.

“and what other business could you be in, where your company gets caught running a child sex ring, since forever, and you still keep your customers?

Posted in Catholicism, insanity, Palpatine, philosophy, Pope, Pope Ratso, quackery, Religion, Sidious I, woo | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pope Palpatine, pussy person?

Illuminated Cap One of the things breathlessly repeated aboot the outgoing child-rapist-enabler-in-chief is that he favours felines. Ironic how a man so afraid of pussy, likes cats.

Posted in Canada, Catholicism, insanity, journalism, Palpatine, politics, Pope, Pope Ratso, pussy, Religion, Sidious I | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

El Popo Ratzo Retires

so long and thanks for all the tiny sphincters

Advert for new Pope

Advert for new Pope by Crispian Jago

Do you want to serve humanity but don’t know what to do?
Do you have a booming voice and an archaic point of view?
Do you love big books of fairy tales and tend to think they’re true?
Then come join the Catholic priesthood! We could use a man like you!

Yes, that’s right, a man! A proper one – the sort that wears a tie;
A committed, dapper, strapping, homophobic kind of guy.
Any candidates with skirts and boobs and wombs need not apply -
They should get back to the stove (or give the Anglicans a try).

The conditions are quite reasonable, though Sundays are a must.
We’ll provide all meals and board and someone in to clean and dust;
Any extras like gold jewellery will be gleefully discussed;
So come join the Catholic priesthood! Wear a frock and earn a crust!

Using guilt, you’ll fleece parishioners of amounts they can’t afford;
You’ll promote and foster theories that are seriously flawed;
Paedophilia and bigotry will largely be ignored;
But if you support abortion then that’s it – we’ll cut the cord.

Do you think that using condoms causes AIDS and that’s God’s way?
Do you think a wife whose husband forces sex on her should stay?
Do you think that having married thoughts can stop you being gay?
Then come join the Catholic priesthood! Be irrelevant today!

via – There should be a sign…

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Snow Day

Lots of this today

Lots of this

and lots of this

and lots of this

Makes you think of this

SunnyBrook

Head over to Head Like an Orange to see some beautiful animated gifs.

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NRA

BulletProofBackPack

Q. How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb?

A. MORE GUNS.

via WhyEvolutionIsTrue

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Heathen’s Greetings

JesusGrumpyCat

via Stupid Evil Bastard

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Beers for the End of the World

Celtic-Attain enlightenment before it all ends with this brew from China called Lucky Buddha which comes in a very distinctive bottle.

luckybuddhabeer It also seems to come with some controversy along with little flavour and a slightly bitter finish.

Smouha Fabrics, owner of Lucky Drink Company of Australia, sent a letter to the Seattle microbrewery in May 2008 objecting the use of Laughing Buddha’s name, citing US trademark registrations for their Buddha-bottle design and the name “Lucky Buddha.” – Beervana(2009)

The blogger also got his panties in a twist over the “crass attempt to cash in on the ignorant misappropriation of a cultural/religious symbol” in a “racist” manner. Apparently, the Seattle brewery had more respect for Buddha when using his image to sell beer than the Australian beer mongers.

Funny thing is, this inoffensive, spectacularly average brew which might go down dangerously well on a hot day, is brewed and bottled by Cheerday Brewery, Chunan county, Zhejiang, China.

Given how China views Tibet, perhaps it’s brewed using dried Buddhist baby flesh.

nostradamus aleItal_Goth_See into the future after having a few of these Belgian beauties – Nostradamus.

I had one the other evening and it is as good looking in the glass as it is tasty. Rich flavour and finish without the medicinal taste some high alcohol beers have. This label shows 9.5%, but mine had only 9%. Regardless, prognostication will be pricey at almost $24 per six 330ml bottles and a predicted nasty hangover.

And to play us out as the world burns:

See ya next time

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