This toaster was working okay until I had a bunch of people show up suddenly at my house. I did not know what to do. Even if I had 200 days wages, I could not have fed everyone. Then, a boy offered me two small loaves. I put them in the Jesus toaster, and it was amazing. The Jesus toast just kept coming out. We ended up feeding like 5000 people that day. We collected the leftovers and filled 12 baskets.
After seeing the success of the Jesus toaster, I encourage the manufacturer to consider Jesus eyeglasses to cure blindness, Jesus hearing aids to heal the deaf, Jesus skin lotion for those suffering with leprosy.
This blasphemy will only anger His Divine Noodlyness.